A year of love and lost

As we enter the new year I feel I need to reflect on my last year and all that my heart and emotions endured.

I finally made a very tough decision to leave my relationship of 4 years, the worst part is it wasn’t even an emotional attachment I was breaking it was simply comfort. I had emotionally detached over a year and a half before making the move and final decision. 

We had built a life together, bought a house, raised a handful of animals, planned out an entire future and then at one point we both lost that dream, we lost that focus. Another year went by and we both were living such separate lives that I couldn’t even remember who he was anymore, I couldn’t remember the feelings we used to have, the way we used to make each other smile. It was gone, for that past year and a half I tried…I tried forcing myself to be happy but at the same point I was also distracting myself with other emotional relationships on the outside in hopes that it would bring light back to my eyes.

Unfortunately there comes a point that you have to decide what is best for you not what is easier and less destructive for someone else. Was I petrified leaving? Yes. Did I have to move back home? Yes. Did it break me? Yes 

These are all things that can be mended and fixed but by staying in the same situation forever you are simply losing years and time in which you can never get back.

Would you rather risk breaking your arm to land your dream job or fear the pain too much that you are miserable and in a place you don’t want to be.Always think of the pros and cons and if most of the cons wont affect your life within the next 1-5 years you need to get past that fear and take that jump before its too late.

Think about every situation in the sense that you never know what could happen, you might not see the stars right away and it might take some time to realize you made the right call but soon you’ll see.


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