Happiness or self pity, you choose

We are all in full control of how we handle difficult situations and how we let them effect us.

For instance, last week I had a very difficult conversation in which I had to take a step back and have a very serious self talk with myself about.

Since I moved out of my home with my ex of 4 years we both had decided at the beginning to stay close and keep in touch since there was truly never any negative situations in our relationship. Of course it was difficult on both ends because immediately we both had started going down different paths.

We had been in and out of contact for about a month but I decided I had a free night why not go over for a beer and catch up with one another.

Me being the nosey blunt person I am had to ask the hard question of new relationships and I was but wasn’t ready for the answer. His eyes lit up telling me about his new partner and it was hard, it was hard knowing another woman will soon be moving into the house I not so long ago called home and making it her own.

Immediately my mind unfortunately went to savage mode, my first thoughts were how do I stop this simply because it hurt. It had nothing to do with me. It was my choice to leave, it was my decision, I already knew for a fact it wasn’t where I wanted or needed to be yet all I wanted to do was feel bad for myself.

It took a few days of me stepping back and having the self talk of what the hell are you thinking woman?! Instead I let him know I truly am happy for him and I cut ties.

Out of pain and self-pity of me not being fully happy myself I could have destroyed his happiness but I didn’t. Instead it made me see the relationships and situations I was involved in were not what I needed right now and that I was trying to convince myself that the person whom I was seeing was perfect because I too wanted that glow.

Never take away someones happiness because you are uncomfortable with your own life, if you have nothing to offer or help with someones life walk away, its only fair to them and to yourself.

People change, life changes. You can either let it break you down and feel bad for your actions or you can move forward and open your eyes to the future.

“Stop fighting yourself and accept where you are in life. Let this time in your life motivate you to let go of all of the things that are holding you back”

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